Monday, May 16, 2011

Florida accidently bans sex

Question: If your elected officials fail basic taxonomy, promote anti-science curriculum, and consistently attempt to undermine the fundamental unpinning of all biology, what happens when they start trying to legislate from this flawed view of reality?

The answer is this poorly-worded miasma of a law recently passed in Florida, which presumably was designed to prevent bestiality and promote animal welfare, but which has actually made it illegal, effective October 1, 2011, for anyone to have sex in Florida.

An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.

Someone has constructed this helpful little graphic for the Florida Legislature to examine:

[image loading]

So if you’re living in Florida on October 1, 2011 and would like to have sexual intercourse with a consenting adult, please check with your veterinarian or local livestock breeder first to make sure you abide by ”accepted animal husbandry practices, conformation judging practices, or accepted veterinary medical practices.”

TL;DR: Florida outlawed any sexual activities involving animals. Unfortunately, humans happen to fall under the definition of an "animal".


  1. I liked the TL;DR part, and absolutely disliked the ignorance of the law enforcement agencies

  2. So....what're you're saying is...I just got a new pickup line in Florida!

  3. This is brilliant why do they embarrass them selves like this =]

  4. This is so FAIL on their part.

  5. Haha, america never fail in making me laugh

  6. Wow Florida, you sure are stupid! hahahaha

  7. uhm ok, well, I will be there for a longer time ;)

  8. damn! i was hoping to get me some halobacteria action tonight!